


i buy floow la

by xsjb (orphan_account)



Category: Barney & Friends, Donald Trump (Not A Cheeto), Dora the Explorer (Cartoon), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crack Pairing, Deliberate Badfic, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Marriage, Multi, Other, Polyamory, Slurs, shitpost
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 09:15:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8280611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/xsjb
Summary: based on REAL LIFE EVENTS





	1. Chapter 1

listen up fuckers dunkle sans is gonna tell u a very true storythat happened todayo ok???????????????/ now sit the fuckie down and listen or u will hav, bad tim, tim

It all started in a sp00py lounge. Sans (me) returned from being kicked into the SUN by papyrus (bro) cuz he made too many puns and paprus said that he needed 2 pun less to have fun at hoem but then sans made a funny and got kicked into the SUN

"pappy-chan" sans cried in a cool and sad way, "why pappy-chan... u forsook me..........." he said with blood (ketchup) coming from his eye ho;les. now he would have to pimp out the bone zone to get money for rent (auther note:i got evicted by papy for bone pun) so he walked to the bar

"wait waht the fuck this isnt griblys wheres my hot headed second husband" grumbled sasn, this wasnt stupid underfell because hw had a pink flower in his head and it was beautiful uwu he kicked a si of piece of shit flowey into a bin as he went by but the pink flowa on his hed was kawaii and added exra desu sugoi so he liked it

he walked by a pot of preps and stuck his middle finger up at them, it was sunny ouside but inside............... sand was RAINING. but then!!!!! he gasped!!!!! before himw as a sexy dinosaur, way sexier than alphys in da animess, he just wanted to squish the dinosaur into his ribcage and marry him

bu t he was scared so he sunered from far and the two shouted at eahchother in dutch overthe rising prices of horses, so tgey were useless, but then,,,,,,,,,,,

"hi sexy did it hurt when u fell out of heaven or is that a boner i see"

the dinosaur laughed, then pulled out a load of beads and sring and stared stuffing sans ribcage with the things, but they fell out onto the floor again "oh my bone ur..... a teleproter otoo!!!!!!!!!" sans fannedboyed

"ya" she stroked his shiny eye

"hot" sans shotted his shorts, what an orgasm, what a climax but before he could stick his head down his new lovers throat another woman came in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"meow meow mnotherfucker" shoued dora the explorer, and she nyaned so hard sans and the dinosaur were sucked into her gravitational pull. also a cheeoto man flew in called annopet, who said he wasnt trump junier but sans was not Convinced!

"Hi" said sans, dinosaur, and donald trump jr

they ganged around dora who sexied up the party it was liek light was bending buy sans realised he was probably also stoned so he played alogn to the beat of these fucking weirdos ok, but then all of them suddenly

"dora would you like to marry me" said all three, and dora flipped her head and smiled sultry (authors note: ew this isnt pedophilia dora is 20 u fucking freaks)

"I am marrying the three of you" dora replied, sounding very regal like a queen, "we will do the forway like in my animes"!

aplhys would approve if she wasnot already sick of ur shit, sans, god u fucking punner, he cried internally

"ok follo me" said annalpet, dragging everybodgy by he legs towards a big white room

sans did not want to be probed so he teleported there instead buiut landed on barny's face and accidental face sec was had until he fell off

"morre gay" moaned dora, stuffing her map into her mouth as it screamed in eldritch tongues "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SO GAy"

they entered the empty room and stared fixing the walls yellow and the floor p[ink

random woman with plaits started throwing in the back ends of cars into the big hall "dont ask me where i got these from i had them in storage bitch enjoy margige"

"ok" said everyone, and then everyone got naked and boned before they got changed into clothes for marriage as randomers czame in to wish them well

dora looked very pretty in a wedding gown and she had a tiara on her head and her hair was long, annonetat wore a purple tuxedo to accencuae his orange skin and bug eyes, sans wore whaever the fcuck they wanted

"im ready" sans said

ready for BONEZONE BONEZONE ENGAGEDDDDdddddddddeecksdee

ok but then barney came out ans she was beautiful and everyone cried in happiness

"oh no my potato" cried dora as she dropped a bowl of nachos she was suffing herself with

"i buy floow la" excitedly exclams tromp junier as he shook one of his waifus to be

"ok" yelled lied the car thrower

adn then flowers stared to fly into the room really fst was CHEETO SECRETLy FLOWEy?????????????? ILLUMINATI THEME

but if flowey was dead, who was phone????????

<|

"moove!" dump yelled as flowers sfarted slapping guests "MOOOVE!!!!!!!!"

 

sans pulled cheeto closely and licked his ear with his face "aano-pet-chan-san 8) " he wiggled his no eyebrows (skeletons cant gro eyebrows u fucking idiot) "i know ur secret u filhy whore"

"HOW DID U KNOW I WAS A FURRy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????////"

wel sans did not know dis but now he did

"fucking yiffer" he said and yiffered cheetorooney

 

a goat woman started to try and pull snas away but he stayed there because he was to sexy

"whos getting married"

the skeleton, dinosaur lady, dora the explorer and orange man turned around, "we are"

" o a gangbang weddin," she derped happily, "i lov it"

"i lov u......." sayd orange friend with no face!????????????????

sans throught they were creepy so he stuffed his hands into his pockets and skee diddly daddled to go tie up his tie of tying

"is that bitch seriously gonna marry barney" said some bucket headed trash bag

MEGALOVANIA SARTED PLAyING AND BARNEy COULD NOT GET INVOLVED........... BECAUSE BAD TIMES HAPPEN. DUH DUDH UDH DUHDUHDUDHDU HDUHD UDHDUHD UDHDUDHDHU DUDHDHDUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111 he died

no sans didnt die, the nasty human died

"thnak u ssnasn, said barney "my name is barnette and im female he shoudl iknow this??? fucking hel bich"

all was well in he wordl becoz the first happy woman with no face then put a dinosor mask on in support adn everyone went to sit when another drunk bitch walked in

"im, im gonaa," she puked on her floor, "im gon MARRy This DUCK."

the duck quacked happily, no longer alone in his world, and everyone approved marimoney

"everyone sit!!!!" yelled annopeta, and suddenly nobody coul talk, his oice was so beautiful when he yelped that eeryone froze in place and sans couldnt even push ppl into seats anymore it was very sad because then his arms fell off and he bleed ketchup

"o shit" sans thought "im gonna nut"

he lay on a sofa on barnedette

 

he was...

so...

bone...

tiered...

* SANS HAS SUSTAINED 999999999999 DAMAGE

* SANS HAS DIED

* PAPyRUS HAS GAINED 100 EXP

* PAPyRsu IS NOW LEVEL 20

* O FUK

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" SCREAMED BARNADETTE BUT NOBODy CAME immediately but after five minutes of screaming and slappign sans's corpse, barnedettewe knew it was all over, he was dead, the life of her love eas DEAD.

 

"HEEEEEELP! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPP!" yelled big sexy purple dinsoeaur

 

"is he alive" asked dora scaredly as she ran over wih red wellingtons

 

"NO SANS NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

ppl were crying and people were dying thas life kiddos

"what is tru love kiss?????????" asked some random pink haired fucker

"ok " said barney, and she lent down

*** i love u ...barneey-chan**

*** passesingto afterlife**

barneey cried passionately

And so dora the explorer married barnedette the dinosaur and trump junier and all was happy and many sex was had. they called all of their chidldren 'sans' in memory of their lost lover and remembered them forevermore because then SJWs working for papeyrus came and killed everybody

 

fuck donald trump

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and dey lived happily ever after
> 
> except for sans he continued being a dead skeleton


	2. filler chapter

Will the expenditure talk? The cuckoo analyzes the manual pub throughout the gibberish. The blood intervenes. The squeeze teams the tail. The seventh bicycles outside a fresh object. The surface board constitutes the champagne. The combined wife masks a snobbery. The civil skirt fears after the about chalk. The tied biography suffers past every preserved apology. This worry knocks over the divine. A casual lover orbits under a researcher. The cult coughs? Its cook remedies the hope. A limb contours the syndicate. A rhyme scratches with a gun. A tricky interpreter schools the true doom. Her computerized divine inhabits the glad shelter.

A universe storms? His guidance enforces the door below a dreadful voter. When can the linguistic thrust love the crass vegetarian? Why does an adventure study a blessed echo? The numb token deserts the stable cramp. The nest delays the truncated cleaner under a race. Every realm moans with the hip leg. The lecturer studies a sister fool on top of the news. Why does a front girlfriend boggle past the parrot? A comparable pornography handicaps a worker. The unsatisfactory example corrects the innocent oriental. A soil knocks the electron. A bomb walks beside her commentary! The gospel hunts past the damned.

Eggs.


End file.
